Italy

Today was brought to you by the letter L (for lunatic), Wild thing (The Trogs), Newton Faulkner, Haribo and the letter V (for valium).

Woke up to a glorious clear day. Left at 0940 after another sumptuous breakfast of coffee and chocolate filled croissant (note to self: must vary diet and remember 5-a-day doesn't usually mean 5 chocolate filled croissant). Joined the madness that is the Tangenziale to join the A1/E35 south. Thought it would get quieter but basically it was full on chaos pretty much all the way. The Tuscan hills made for some fantastic views, snatched while trying to avoid the other cars.

On the way I tried to figure out how to drive Italian style. I finally settled on these basic rules:

1. Speed limits are minimums not maximums
2. Leave at most a fag-papers width between you and the car in front
3. Brake if and only if there is no room to go around. See rule 10.
4. White lines are for following not driving between
5. To overtake apply rules 2,3 and 4 until nerve of driver in front finally gives (or they finish their call on the mobile) and pull over, usually just missing the wing of the car on the inside lane
6. Anticipation is what you experience watching football - it doesn't apply to driving
7. There are only two speeds to drive at: fast or stop. See rule 1
8. Parking. Yes - anywhere
9. Mirrors are for seeing how great you look
10. Real men don't brake. See rule 3.
11. 
    

Arrived Sutri about 1700 not realising that the roads in this small town were built by the Romans many hundreds of years ago who hadn't realised that their descendants would want to drive 4x4s and BMWs along them. The wife nearly had kittens as we followed TomTom to the main car park, through what I can only describe as pavements - they were NOT roads. I may write to TomTom and insist they add road widths. Parked up and decided to walk the rest of the way to find the flat, which thankfully was just off the main piazza.

After chatting to the very friendly landlord, who explained where we could park (funnily enough there were no spaces) we realised we'd have to negotiate the streets once more. To cut a long story short we got the car close enough to unpack and found somewhere to park for the night.

Finally we ventured out to forage for milk, bread and something to eat. Settling for a couple of slices of pizza and a cup of tea in our new home. Both too tired to do anything more adventurous.

A domani.